time

slipping out of my hands. Christmas approaching again, holding onto the happy moments as much as possible and enjoying them. No time to write, not even a note to you but a book will come one day.
Loving the song "All I want for Xmas is you." Tomorrow will hug someone so dearly I can't hardly wait. I am in the Xmas spirit, are you? truly my kids do it all for me.
Wishing all the best for you guys.
CArol

night

falls, earlier and earlier each day, love this time of year, close to the equinox again, and life goes on. Realizing the importance of the experiences lived, appreciating a good book and classical music. Realizing how everything that happens around us is almost planned, a design, it is meant to happen. Believing in the force of the Universe and trying to grave it.
Plan to write, to write personally my own notes, a vision statement of my life. Feeling changes are coming our way again and liking it.
My dear friends over in USA, CA, MA, MD, Lund, Madrid, Germany.
Truly the exhaustion I feel now from the 3 month long summer break is beyond me, running out of patience easily and fighting with myself to make the best out of each day with the kids.  Need a more scheduled day, learn and play in separate settings may be a good idea for a while.

Off to bed, now.
Good night my beautiful friends.
CA

Hola!

back after a long summer away from home. Nice. Enjoyed much needed time with family and visited beautiful places. Very lucky I say, rediscovering myself, feeling well, batteries recharged. Appreciate the little pleasures in life.
The best part of my day? watching my kids grow.
I miss writing again, will try to be here more often. Are you there?
Good night,
CA

what it takes

to feel good.... just a simple comment from a friend to say you look good, you sound good. Just at the right time and my spirits lift up so high. Building up all the emotions to see my family in my country, to hug them and see their faces up close, priceless. Feeling the energy as a morning sun ray in my face, as the sing of the Scandinavians birds in the Swedish early rise. Almost dare to say as the sea breeze hitting my face in Pleasure Point.
Have a wonderful day.
Freedom.
 CA

Hola

it has been a while... but I am here. I had intense dreams from the past....Wild feelings, kept inside, should we believe these dreams/feelings or let them rest inside, should we listen to them? what should we do with them? what do we want? what are the consequences of our acts, can we live with them?. Emotional periods, intense, quiet. Always remember that no one day passes by that ever returns. Enjoy, the sun, nature, the rain the wind, a smile, a song, a good book, a great song, a kiss, a hug, sweetness from kids. Surround yourself with the right people.
With love from this side of the world. Any input?
CA

come

and take me away.... cannot do it alone.

yes

... we can. We can do as we wish. We will find comfort in others, help. I feel the need to write but lack the time. Yesterday I heard something 'we often want  to live in different times, another era, another place, 'cause the present is dull, it is human kind'. True, it is our minds that imagine, idealize better times and places. Could be true but the truth is that we are here now.
It is already April, i am missing the moon cycles, the changes of the months, stars. So, stop and smell the flowers right?  ...  the lines in our faces will get deeper no matter what. Be smart, but not too much so that you will get depressed.
April, yes... my birthday, i want to celebrate all month this new decade. Looking back  guau, what a trip! I like unexpected, i like surprises, changes, new beginnings, renovations, evolution. Must.

Have a wonderful day, walk on, walk out, enjoy.
Love and kisses.
CA

something Grand

have you ever thought of doing something Grand in your life? do you have ideas that are just waiting for the right time? well, that is how I feel, yet I wait and wait and the conditions are never right.  I guess now it's as good as ever. Why wait. Why tomorrow. Nothing it's going to change, really, you are the one that has to give the step to change, to start building something of your own, to do that contribution to humanity, that Grand dream you always wanted to do. Start planing now, write ideas, move mountains and get it done.... so easy to say yet... we gotta try!
Have a wonderful March night.
CA

agian

how many times have we planned to say something, to do something important, to make a decision and not follow through with it. Life is a pattern with often repetitions in behavior, feelings, places, names. Patterns are often good, they offer calm and peace to know what to expect. However sometimes we need to break the mold to speak up, to change something important in our lives. We must make a balance to see what weighs more. Stay true to yourself. Learn, study, educate yourself, 'cause that.... will stay inside you and nobody can take it from you.
Have a lovely night, soon March,
CA

hey

have you ever thought what would you be doing if you hadn't make that decision a long time ago? pretty amazing how our lives revolve based on our decisions at a given time. The path starts a new route, non stoppable. Sometimes I think that it is only under heat and stress when we have the courage to make life changing decisions and not when we are calm and reasonable. Perhaps we should let loose a bit more, it is ok. I often feel strengthen by my courage,  I feel alive, not afraid and then and only then I am at my best.
Wishing you a wonderful day/evening wherever you are. Today is never coming back, I hope you enjoyed it!

Besos

CA

my discovery is.....

that  many people will never change, that no matter how much you want to be listened if you are talking to the wrong crowd it is useless, that we should never try to change anyone, that people are responsible for their own actions, that no one else is to blame, that life is not fair, that you have to sometimes shut up and keep moving forward because better times will arrive, that who the fuck cares about what other people think, that we are unique and special, that all kids deserve happiness, that we are all free, that being afraid is not being free, that sometimes a clean cut is the only thing that will work, that we must be strong, put ourselves together and look up to the beautiful clouds, dream on, walk on, stay true to yourself, then your conscience will be in peace.
Seras tu y solo tu,
besos
CA

read a beautiful poem today

CRANKY OLD MAN

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you're looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . ... . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . ... lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. ...Babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future ... . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I've known.
I'm now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It's jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. .... . ME!!

welcome

February, a cold pure winter month but a month full of hope for the spring to come, for the days to get longer and the temps to rise. A month filled with events during the previous years. I hope this year will be an exception, uneventful periods are good, relaxing for a change. And I wish that for you too, some peace and sometime to think of ourselves.
CA

measure

what to say when to say it, cannot be spontaneous because others may get upset and do get upset. How much do we have to change to make someone happy? a little? OK, a lot? not OK. Surround yourself with the right people and your life will improve. How much do we create our own problems? how to get out? scape? stay and fight? worth it? Well. The Pacific Ocean is still there and someday I will come to see you, to stay close.
Have a great weekend, the last one of January.

Besos

too late

... one more time.....hurry..... that fast is life. Moments accumulated, memories lived and relived.  Can fly back in time so easily and there I am, me, feeling, laughing, happy, melancholic, always CA, DC, the sea, that Pacific ocean that holds my hands through the tough time and I know he is always there. With one underline thought,... always dreaming... one life to do that you want. Now it is the time. Still I look back 4 years and no memories ... memories start from before. Am I doing anything wrong? Desperately looking for moments to look back at. Yes, my kids always are the highlight of my days, my seconds. Still I want to do so many things with them but cannot access for the time being. Today is one of those days that I want to scream.... out loud, cry, exercise to exhaustion.
Miss you,
CA

por cierto....

we could always be better off but moreover we could always be much much worse given the circumstances. Regrets? learn! stuck? snap out of it! not easy, but it could be simpler than you think, try it!

I have plans to write, to learn photography, to teach what I know, to read and read and read some more, to rediscover my oceanography/meteorology background, to scream loud and sing and dance. Snap! now!

Have a great winter day.
CA

quiet

but still with moments of.... what the hell am I doing? Floating in the clouds and coming right back down to Earth. Priorities bring me down fast. Must believe good things are coming our way. Living in the now. Feeling excited about our trip to Spain. How I long the days with my family ....

Miss my conection with Nature, my night sky filled with stars, often moon and morning birds. Soon.
Have a wonderful day.
CA

Happy New Year

2014... what would it be like when I am 30, 40? Now I am and I wonder how I got here. Destiny? perhaps. One thing is for sure, my kids are the best thing that have ever happened to me, family, closeness, health.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYaCda5ib8M

Lets hope for a better year, with peace and health. The rest of the non-important things are so complicated yet so simple that better leave them alone.

Wishing you a wonderful day.

CA